After more than 40 years of work with clients, always aiming at the deepest perception of their life story, it is beyond doubt that unity, polarity and direction are closely related.
It all started with the information clients gave me that was contradictory or had opposite qualities. A very responsible man, reserved and closed would complain his wife never took care of him on a personal level, so that he could experience she was the responsible one and he could let go and be in touch with the child within him.
Another situation could be a very romantic woman saying that her husband never gave her attention. She could go to the hairdresser, buy some new outfit to make herself beautiful. Looking forward to surprise him in the evening with a nice dinner. Her romantic expectations turned into disappointment by him not noticing, not commenting on her new nice looks. Instead he asks her if she minds serving him the dinner at his home office because he would like to attend a webinar. At this point the adaptable, nice and very romantic woman turn into a furious dragon, throwing the dinner plate towards him across the room.
The last example is the young boy trying to learn by heart all the name of football players and scores. Competing with his peers about remembering most facts, most names, dates and scores. Having the feeling of knowing it all, having the complete overview on one side and focusing on the details on the other side. Maybe not realizing the details will always change and new players and scores will make his “overview” just a small fragment, like a detail in the course of time.
These polarities are just examples of themes and patterns seen in many clients leading me to form the system of archetypes. (To read about archetypes start here.)
The three examples cover the three main axes or polarities of archetypes.
The first between the responsible “The Old” and the needy “The Child“.
The second between the romantic adaptable “Young Girl” and the self-assertive “Mature Man“.
The last between the communicative “Young Boy” and the “Mature Woman” emphasizing the wholeness.
Each of these examples reflect the opposite qualities in the three axes in the archetypes. (Read here about the archetype The Master)
These polarities reflect a split in the person between two opposite qualities that they manifest as a pattern in their lives. It is shown in our physical complains, in our challenges in life, traumatic experiences and personality traits.
The dominating side of the polarity can be viewed as our way of coping with challenges. It is the way we choose or believe it is best or easiest to cope with life and difficult situations. Often it is the way we early in life found to be the easiest way to deal with challenges.
This side of the polarity reflects the sunny side, or aware part in us; what we see and acknowledge as our skills, competencies or identity. This is our strong side, and represent what we like about ourselves and who we like others to think we are. That is also why we use that side to solve problems.
The opposite side is more unconscious and can often reflect what we find challenging in others. Particularly in persons having those qualities as their strong side. It is also often what we find attractive in others, because at a deep level we know this is what we need to become more balanced, whole or healed.
With life partners we often share the same strong side in one of the axes and the opposite in an other. We have a common platform and a polarity of attraction.
This polarities that we find in clients reflect their polarity between their conscious and unconscious. They unconscious reflect the nature of their anima or animus in Jungian psychology. This is the sunny and dark sides in our psyché (Read more about Anima and Animus here).
As we grow, evolve or develop skills to master life our horizon expands as we get insight or enlightened we shed light on the dark sides in us. We become aware of the unaware. As we evolve or get enlightened the dark side becomes aware, we put light on it.
This process is the core or essence of mastery, evolution, growth and healing in our life (Read here about these connections). This is our most important work. It is the direction we are supposed to take to become whole again and heal. To perceive the wholeness or oneness in a person we need to see both sides in them. Seeing both sides we also see their direction or purpose in life.
We are individuals (= un-divided-able) that manifest with a polarity between the conscious and unconscious and this polarity reflects our direction, meaning, purpose or goal in our lives.